Lacking self confidence can feel like a prison sentence. I’ve been there, I know exactly how it feels. Always taking a back seat to your friends who get all the attention from the girls, being passed over for promotion in favor of those who are deemed more able to propel the company forward by virtue of their own self belief and confidence.

I was shy up until my mid twenties when I actually decided to take the bull by the horns and make some changes. These changes are what I describe in my new book Confidence For Men, which you can find on Amazon. Of course it was a gradual process but I think over a couple of years I changed incredibly. These days, although still naturally introverted and that will never change, I am one of the more confident people I know.

Now I’ll say that the two most important things are firstly learning what needs to be done and then secondly, actually doing it! Below I’ll give a few self confidence building tips to get you started.

Use A Confident Posture

In my book, I actually give reference to a study that was carried out that proves beyond doubt that the way in which we sit while we’re writing things about ourselves can determine how much we actually believe in what we’re saying. For example, those who sat up straight while writing that they’d be a great Doctor or Lawyer actually believed in what they were writing more than those who wrote the exact same thing while slouching in the chair.

Therefore our postures, while sitting and standing have an overall effect on our confidence. You need to imagine there is a helium filled balloon on a string in your teeth which is pulling your head upwards and elongating your spine. This is one way of correcting your posture and making you more confident.

Use Confident Body Language

Do you know it’s possible to look confident even if you’re not? You can use your body language in order to do this. When we’re communicating with people, the language our bodies give off make up around 60% of the overall message whereas the words we say make up only 10%. You can sound unsure of yourself and talk rubbish, but as long as your body looks right while you’re saying it, you can still come over as being super confident. I talk a lot about this confident body language in my book and I also go briefly into it in this article on how to be an alpha male. So feel free to take in what you can do to look confident while you sit, stand, speak or do nothing.

But I’ll go even further than saying that your body language makes you look confident. I’ll even go as far as to say you can change your present state confidence simply by using the confident body language I describe.

The default standing position for many guys, especially those who lack confidence is the arms folded position. When we fold our arms, we’re actually building a wall between us and everybody else. But if we actually drop our arms down by our sides, we can actually feel more open and relaxed.

Studies have proven our body language actually effects how we feel at any one time. So by simply adapting a more open stance, you become more confident. Confident body language actually perpetuates a positive spiral, helping you to build self confidence with total natural ease.

Knowing how to build self confidence really begins with your body language, it really is that important.

Improve Your Confidence By Doing Something Life Changing

I gained my new confidence owing a great deal to some of the new things I was doing and the amount of people I was getting to know in the process. Looking back in fact, I was shy growing up mainly because I had no interests other than playing video games.

I took up a range of new hobbies which forced me to get out there. Break dancing was the best thing I ever did, which I have been doing for nearly ten years now. Many of my friends are breakdancers and we hang out and do our thing regularly. Do you think I look shy or like I lack confidence while I breakdance? No is the answer to that!

You have to find that one thing that will captivate you in a similar way and change your life for the better. Physical activities are probably the best way of meeting people in your area and making life long friends too. Extreme sports are more interesting in general as not many people do them and you’ll look very attractive to the ladies because they won’t know anybody else who sky dives or white water rafts or enters triathlons.

There are many other life changing things you can do which would be like injecting liquid confidence into your bloodstream. Why not start up a part time business based on an interest you have? You could learn website building skills, or learn a musical instrument. Consider getting your pilots license, or something you can do which will cost you nothing except your lunch money is to befriend an enemy.

All these things will change your life!

Gain Confidence By Expanding Your Social Circle

Expanding your social circle is easy in the age of Facebook! We are all friends with people we went to school with, but how often do we really speak to them? Why not meet up with our old friends for a beer and get to know them all over again? This really is the most simple way of expanding your circle of friends by better utilizing what you already have.

By taking account of the section above also, by taking up new hobbies, you’ll be interacting with more people on a regular basis. You’ll have that common activity to bond you together. It’s easy to make new friendships when you have a shared passion.

When you have a large social circle, you can take chances to do some good with it by acting as a connector and hooking your friends up whenever the need arises. For example, if your friend needs a good personal trainer and you happen to know one, then it’s simply a matter of passing on their details. In a matter of minutes, you’ve improved two peoples lives and you’ll look awesome in the process for taking that small amount of trouble.

Karma has a way of paying you back many times over for small acts like this.

Confidence For Men

Why not take a look at my new book Confidence For Men available on Amazon.

As long as you have an idea of what you’re doing, meeting women on Facebook is actually quite easy. All you really need to do is send out a few messages to a few girls and hope they’ll get back to you. However, you can increase your chances of getting favorable responses by following a few basic principles, as well as sending out better opening messages to the women you want to meet on Facebook. That is where I come in to help you and I go into detail in my new book Meet Women On Facebook! If you pick it up then you’ll learn the secrets to creating the best Facebook profile possible as well as opening messages to send out to girls. There’s also a few secret weapons which I teach too to really give you the edge over the competition.

Remember that hot women on Facebook get messages from random guys every day. If you want to stand out above the crowd, then you’d better be unique. Here are a few tips you can do to ensure success:

Have An Awesome Facebook Profile Picture

This is the single most important thing of all! How many girls on Facebook do you skip over simply because their profile picture doesn’t entice you to click on it? Well it’s the same for the girls! Your profile picture really needs to entice her to want to find out more about you. Remember that a picture is worth a thousand words!

So what is the best kind of profile picture you could use?

Simple! To meet women on Facebook, you really need a profile picture where you’re with another hot woman. This should ideally be a really good friend of yours and she should look really happy and comfortable in your company. A picture like this provides social proof and demonstrates that your a safe, trustworthy guy and that other women already find you attractive.

Your Other Facebook Pick Up Photos!

As guys, when we look at other girls profiles, the first thing we tend to do is jump straight to their pictures to see how hot they are. Well trust me, it’s no different for the girls. So you really need to have a large amount of photos that demonstrate your value and worthiness.

First of all though, you need to delete any photos that show you in the opposite light. Anything like you being in stupid drunken poses, or in fights, on the toilet or just in general looking ugly. I have to be blunt to get my point accross, that bad photos will put girls off you. If you’re one of the many guys who has photos with an outstretched arm, taking picture of yourself, then please delete them too.

So what photos should you be using, well try these:

- More photos with hot women

- Photos cuddling cute pets

- Photos cuddling cute babies or children

- Photos of you taking part in awesome hobbies; sailing, surfing, white water rafting, break dancing, fencing, hang gliding etc.

- Photos next to famous landmarks.

These are all example of wonderful photos you should be using. Many of these photos will actually entice women to “open” you into conversation, so meeting them should be easy after that.

Your Facebook Relationship Status

If you’re wanting to meet girls on Facebook then the worst thing you could do would be to have a status that shows you’re ‘single’. After all, you’d be giving the game away and making it far too obvious why you’re messaging her wouldn’t you! If I were you, I’d keep things a mystery and turn your relationship status off completely. Besides, if she asks if you’re single then this is proof she’s interested.

Your Facebook Wall

I go into detail on getting social proof and making your wall a babe magnet in my book. I give exact cut and paste social proof status updates for you to use in order to get hot girls to write positive things on your wall.

I also show you how to clean up your wall and make it so you come across as high value. This is very important for your messaging because any girl who’s curious about you will always read a good way down your wall.

You should always make sure you use proper English, spelling and grammar and never use that annoying text speak that makes you seem like a 14 year old.

Meet Women On Facebook By Sending An Opening Message

There are different levels of opening messages to send to girls and this all depends on how well you actually know her. I actually show you numerous messages you can send out depending on how well you’re both acquainted. I show you how to increase the chances of a successful outcome by flying in under the radar. You can do this on Facebook by speaking to her on your friends walls and I show you the exact way of doing this.

Meet Women On Facebook is available now on Amazon Kindle!

I’m going to give you a few, very short little tidbits from my new book First Date Tips For Men! The book intends to arm men with the knowledge they need to give them the best possible shot at having the girl fall for them within that date, or very soon afterwards. The book First Date Tips For Men, by me Charlie Valentino features psychological advice for getting inside the girls mind during the date, helping you gain an incredible connection with her. Below, i’ll real off a few bits, but for the rest you’ll have to view my book on Amazon Kindle.

Start Of Your First Date – Tips For The Beginning!

Why be like most guys who waltz up on time or even a few minutes late when you can arrive at the venue early and scope out the place and do a little ground work!

I always like to arrive a few minutes early to talk to the staff at the museum, bar, coffee shop or cinema. This way, when your date arrives, you can refer to your early conversation and make it seem like you’re old friends. If the staff member is a hot girl then this is even better for social proof reasons.

If you’re traveling to her town, or a neutral town and you’re not too sure where anything is, then it’s even more important to arrive early and do your ground work. Girls like guys to be leaders and to know what they are doing. If you meet somewhere and then you don’t know where the nearest Starbucks is then you’re not going to look like you’re in control. Arrive early and do your ground work!

As for meeting your date at the rendezvous, I always like to turn up no more than 2 minutes early! This way you’re not waiting around ages for her and you’re not going to be late either. If a guy can’t turn up on time for a date then what else can’t he do?

Likewise, if you’re date arrives late herself then you’ll have to be prepared to give her a little bit of a dressing down. Try and do it in a playful way, but you certainly have to mention it otherwise you’ll come across as being a pushover. You can be playful by calling her Captain Lateness when she turns up.

First Conversation Tips

That first conversation is often a little bit awkward as you’re both finding your feet and getting comfortable with each other. One question the girl often asks the guy is what they’ve been doing today. A typical response from the average man is something such as “not much really”!

Well this isn’t a very good start at all and you certainly aren’t using the first conversation to your advantage! What’s wrong with saying nothing much? Well mostly, you make yourself look like you aren’t a very busy guy, which isn’t an attractive trait to have. You should use that first question to your advantage to make it look like you’re very busy! So in future, if a girl on a first date asks you what you’ve been doing today, how about answering something like the following:

Well i got up early for my morning jog, i just can’t start the day without feeling the earth beneath my feet. I then went for a coffee with a friend while we discussed business. After that, i then met up with my friend for a quick game of squash. After that i just wrote a few emails then set off to meet up with you.

Do you see the difference? This makes you look extremely active, busy and attractive. There’s even a little bit of imagery chucked into the first line for good measure, which will actually force her brain to picture you out jogging.

Kino Escalation

Kino escalation refers to small, slight touches at the beginning of the date, which then increase in magnitude going towards the end of the date. The purpose of kino escalation is to make the girl feel gradually more comfortable with you touching her over the course of the date.

Imagine, on most occasions, the date is about to end and there is this massive moment of tension where you’re wanting to kiss her. It is very hard to do so because no kino has been built up prior to this point. In fact, if you get kino right, your first kiss, should be during the day and not right at the end. In fact, if you get kino off to a good start, then it should be her making many of the kino initiatives as well as yourself.

If you make plenty of little touches, and some medium ones throughout the date, then going for the kiss somewhere before the end should only feel natural and a lot more comfortable.

Kino should start right at the very beginning! When you meet, you shake her hand, hold it for as long as feels comfortable, whilst you kiss her on both cheeks. You can lead her in the direction you’re heading in (did you scope out the town earlier?) and give her a little touch on the small of her back to do this. You should always open doors for your date, not to be a gentleman, but because it gives you a chance to touch her lower back as you lead her through. If you’re telling a story, then you can emphasize certain points by touching her arm. If you leave one venue and head off to another, then you should at the very least link arms, if it’s going well then why not hold hands?

Be brave, be a man and always kino!

Being A Leader

All girls love men who are leaders! In fact i will go as far as to say that if you allow your date to lead your around then it’s going to be game over.

But what is leadership? Well in the context of a first date, leadership can come down to simply having a plan and enforcing it. Trust me, 99% of girls will be ecstatic to have you lead, they are naturally submissive and they will happily allow you to lead them anywhere (within reason) as long as you know what you’re doing.

This goes back to my section above on arriving early for your date, scoping the place out and having a plan. Make sure you know what you’re doing, where you’re going, opening times, prices and any other contingencies. You should also have a back up plan in case something should happen. Has she already seen the film you’re off to see for example, may often crop up.

It’s actually very simple, just plan your date out and lead!

Read My Book First Date Tips For Men

For more on having perfect first dates then you really should read my book First Date Tips For Men!